Eclectablog

He's one of these people who doesn't need much, much less much more... (David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest)

6/30/2008 - Big Bad John THIS, Muthah Effah

Remember that uber-drecky "Big Bad John" video I showed awhile back, a campaign piece for John Cornyn?

This one?

Well his Democratic rival, Rick Noriega, had some fun with it. Here's HIS version:

Rick Noriega is within two points of Cornyn now. Even the Texas Medical Association is running from Cornyn, rescinding their endorsement.

Bye, bye big bad John. Ya loser.

I'm just sayin'...

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6/29/2008 - EclectaBlog for President 2008

It's time. You know. For change. And stuff.

I'm just runnin'...

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6/28/2008 - New Blog Name

Eclect Hussein Ablog. I like it.

Sign me up.

I'm just sayin'...

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6/17/2008 - I'm Famous!

Well, well... Mrs.E's pano is getting wide viral spreading-aroundedness. This afternoon it got picked up by Wonkette today and I'M IN THE PICTURE!!!

Seems I'm "elite".

I'd like to thank my wife and ... uh ... well, just my wife. She's the one who done it and all...

By the way, it's also been on MyDD, Andrew Sullivan's The Daily Dish, The Democratic Underground (twice) and who knows where else?

Hot damn!

I'm just sayin'...

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6/17/2008 - 'Cause of the Gays Getting Married

Yup, it's all gone bad. 'Cause of the gays. Getting married. So sad.

Brilliant.

I'm just sayin'...

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6/11/2008 - Why People Are Voting Republican

Love it. A little over the top but funny nonetheless.

Then there's this one for all those embittered women who were Senator Clinton supporters and are now planning on voting for McCain because their candidate didn't succeed. Sorta the equivalent of schoolkids taking their ball and going home when they don't get their way...

The McCain Loyalty Oath for Women

I _____________ pledge to transfer my support from Hillary Clinton to John McCain. I agree to do all I can do to get McCain the vote. In order to achieve this noble goal I promise to support McCain's...

* fight to overturn Roe v. Wade and my right to choose.
* fight against equal pay for men and women.
* opposition to providing low-income and uninsured women and families with health care services ranging from breast and cervical cancer screening to birth control.
* opposition to sex education and support of abstinence-only education.
* making birth control covered by insurance.
* endorsement of women's rights more "in theory" than in practice.
* pet name for his wife.

As a woman I promise to apply McCain's principles to my own life and vow to...

* call myself and my female friends the C word.
* picket abortion clinics.
* not use contraceptives.
* drink bleachso I don't catch HIV and drink Mountain due so I don't get pregnant.
* give back part of my salary to male coworkers.
* not vote, but pursue education and encourage my father/husband/brother male friends to vote for McCain.

Once McCain is elected, I will continue to support him and I will not complain about my losing my right to choose, and other reproductive freedoms. And I will continue to refrain from pursuing equality for women.

Sincerely,
Signature __________

Stolen from a Daily Kos piece where you can also find pledges for gays and straight white men.

I'm just sayin'...

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6/10/2008 - Hilarious Bud Light Commercial

Sam the Dog is a Really Picky Eater...

Thanks to my SIL, Kaffy, for this one. Can't imagine why she thought to send it to us... :D

I'm just sayin'...

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6/10/2008 - McCain: I Will Veto Any BEER!

Heh, heh...

I'm just laughin'...

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6/8/2008 - The Michelle Obama "Whitey" Videotape

There's been a ton of bloviating these past couple of weeks about a rumored videotape showing Senator Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, talking about "Whitey" and how "Whitey" has been oppressing black people forever.

Most thinking people were pretty sure that the video didn't exist because, well, in this day and age of YouTube, something like that would have showed up nearly instantaneously after it had been revealed. Most thinking people figured it was a vicious smear campaign, a whisper campaign designed to make stupid people believe something that (a) wasn't true and (b) was completely unsupported by any evidence whatsoever.

Well, unfortunately, they were wrong. The video has now been released. It's a shame really. Senator Obama would have made such a great president...

I'm just sayin'...

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5/28/2008 - Suck It, Trebeck

No. Wait. I mean McCain.

Suck it, McCain. And Clinton. Suck it, Clinton.

I'm just sayin'...

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5/23/2008 - Ooo! Fun Crazy Wingnut Website Alert!

Saw this over at The Wonkette. It's the crazy conservative "Country Above Self" website.

Tagline: "Celebrating Patriots and Exposing Traitors"

Basically, you can vote for patriots and traitors. Here's the latest rankings:

Interesting that VoteVets.org is considered traitorous since they're the ones that just got the G.I. Bill giving military veterans more benefits pushed through the Senate with a veto-proof margin yesterday. And Ron Paul is their Top Traitor? I thought crazy right wingers LOVED Ron Paul? I'm so confused. Will/Libertine will surely enjoy seeing his friend Neil Boortz over on the patriot side. Heh heh.

Maybe we should flood the site with votes that totally mess up their rankings. You know, kinda like Rush Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos". Could be fun...

I'm just sayin'...

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5/21/2008 - On Being Your Own Worst Enemy, Part II

Here we go again...

Jesus, people, hire a proof reader, will ya???

I'm just sayin'...

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5/21/2008 - Yes, Now Even the Animal Kingdom is for Obama

I'm so going to teach Rudy, our Senegal parrot, this:

Yes I can!

I'm just sayin'...

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5/21/2008 - Dang It, I Hate When This Happens

There's nothing like giving a speech and having a flying helicopter penis come flying in to distract everyone.

Nothing. I mean it. There's nothing like that.

Kinda looks like this:

As former chess champion Gary Kasparov was giving a speech to unite opposition political forces, a radio-controlled penis flew across the room to some applause and laughter....After the security guard swatted it to the ground, Kasparov says, "I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt." Someone in the audience shouts, "Finally the political power shows its face!" Kasparov quickly replies, "Well, if that's its face..." to laughter from the audience.

Who knew Gary Kasparov was such a funny guy? I mean, c'mon, the guy just made a "penis face" or "dick face" joke. Dang, yo.

I'm just sayin'...

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5/18/2008 - The Encyclopedia of Dicks

Have you seen Dickipedia??? Check it out. It's absolutely hilarious. "The Wiki of Dicks". Here's a snippet from Dick Cheney's entry:

Cheney is sub-species of dick known as the "Chicken Hawk,” which is a person who publicly supports a war but is too much of a pussy to fight in it himself. There is a scene in the movie "Office Space" when one of the characters, Michael Bolton, is sitting in his fancy car listening to hardcore gangsta rap, and then the black guy pulls up next to him, and he rolls the window up. A chickenhawk is this sort of person.

In 1963, with the draft board ramping up, Cheney enrolled in Casper Community College (one of the finest institutions of higher-learning in Southwest Casper), and received his first student deferment. Later that year, he got his second student deferment. In August of 1964, Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, escalating American military involvement. Twenty-two days later, Dick married his wife, and a few months later received his third deferment. In July, 1965, President Johnson announced he would double the number of the number of draftees. Cheney moved quickly, entered graduate school that year, and received his fourth student deferment. This was quite a sacrifice, as grad school is known to be extremely boring. Cheney received a “hardship exemption" in 1966 when he and his wife conceived their first child. By the next year, he was no longer eligible for the draft. It had been a long process, but Cheney learned a valuable lesson: if you get in a jam, you can usually get out of it by fucking somebody.

Love it.

I'm just sayin'...

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5/17/2008 - Insurgent Kitties

Mrs. E suggests that "Shia" and "Sunni" would make great cat names. And, by God, she's absolutely right.

I'm just sayin'...

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5/16/2008 - Making a Fool of Yourself on TV

Chris Matthews positively OWNS right wing talking head fool idiot dumbass douchebag nimrod dolt wingnut asshat fucktard, Kevin James. James is a conservative radio talk show host that was vociferously defending George W. Bush's characterization of Barack Obama's (and other's) desire to engage in diplomacy around the world as "appeasement". Unfortunately, his comparisons of Obama to Neville Chamberlain were made without any knowledge of the what Chamberlain actually DID (cede half of Czechoslovakia to the Nazis in the Munich Agreement.) This is brutally painful to watch but it's worth staying with it until the end.

Crooks and Liars has a partial transcript HERE.

I'm just sayin'...

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5/8/2008 - Sporks Gone Wild!

A little break from my obsessive political blathering...

Heh, heh...

I'm just sayin'...

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5/5/2008 - The Nigerian Clintonian/McCainian Gas Tax Scam

This is totally hilarious. From GasTaxScam.com:

CONFIDENTIAL/URGENT POLITICAL PROPOSAL

Dear Sir

First we must solicit your confidence in this issue. This is by virtue as being utterly confidential and "top secret".

We are SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON, the wife of the former United States head of state, PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON, and also SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN, friend and associate of current head of state PRESIDENT GEORGE W BUSH. We got your contact through business inquiries as we were searching for contacts of a citizen who can help save our and our family's political careers since our country has been frustrating us.

We are top officials of the United States Senate Government who are interested in importation of oil into our country with funds that are presently trapped in the FEDERAL TRANSPORTATION TRUST FUND dedicated to improving transportation. We wish to send this money to overseas accounts in the MIDDLE EAST but cannot due to restrictions in Congress Transportation Equity Act requiring that this money must be spent to build roads, bridges and high speed trains.

If you accept we will deliver to your a sum of 30 DOLLARS in the summer 2008 in form of a "GAS TAX HOLIDAY". You will then deliver this money to accounts of our friends in Middle East by taking it to your nearby gasoline station where they have information to forward the money. Please supply your bank account, social security number, address and your vote in DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES AND NOVEMBER GENERAL ELECTION.

But bear in mind that this transaction requires absolute confidentiality. Do not visit www.GASTAXSCAM.COM where there is information about dangers of our proposal and a petition to stop us from this diversion of funds.

PLEASE NOTIFY US URGENTLY OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THIS PROPOSAL

Awaiting your rapid response

Yours truly

SENATORS HILLARY CLINTON AND JOHN MCCAIN

I'm just sayin'...

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4/12/2008 - Hey, Where All the White Women At?

It's an Obama Sammich!

Honestly, I think Barack Obama could have his way with 75% of the women in this country. Michelle's gotta be hatin' that. LOL! Prolly doesn't play too well among the segregationists, either...

I'm just sayin'...

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Eclectablog

Name: Mr. E (get it?)
Location:
Ann Arbor-ish, Michigan, USA, Earth
EFx2Blogger since:
September 19, 2007

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Some folks sleep on a problem, but you can camp on one as well. Camping is for the mind what a high-speed run on the highway is for a car. It tends to blow out all the sludge that accumulates in the type of urban driving most of us are forced to do in order to earn a living.
-- Tim Cahill

To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The most alarming sign of the state of our society now is that our leaders have the courage to sacrifice the lives of young people in war but not the courage to tell us that we must be less greedy and wasteful.
-- Wendell Berry